Life isn’t easy. To be responsible for the livelihood and molding of another person? Shitz hard!
Today I started out at 3:30am, did some laundry and dishes, woke the baby at 4am for breakfast, worked out, then woke the girls at 5am for their breakfast, and then our day was up and running. By 8am severe migraine – possible dehydration. Two meetings and two Gatorade’s later feeling a little more useful. Then the apocalyptic call – I don’t want to babysit your infant anymore. It’s only noon. Dammitalltohell.
A quick rescheduling of meetings and a call to the boss and I’m off. Picking up Baby J on the way to picking up Milla to drop her at school during my lunch break (she’s a half day preK kid). I stop at three places nearby our home to request prices…totally out of our budget. I hit up Craigslist and schedule a couple of interviews. A few drive-bys (too scary to even stop) and a couple of interviews later and I think we have a winner. She’s new to Houston, has a few respectful and sweet kids, lives in a gated community. She gives me a copy of her license and a background check later she’s tentatively hired for a trial week.
Let’s get real. If you had a big bag full of gold you wouldn’t just drop it off at a strangers house and expect to pick it up later. That’s what I feel when I drop my kids off. I’m trusting someone whom is practically a stranger with one of my most priceless possessions! I would literally kill for my kids. I love them more than I’ve ever loved anything in my entire life. I pay more than 1/2 my pay every month to people to care for these little people that I would personally pay just to spend more time with. Truth talk. I’m jealous of SAHMs.
Being a single parent isn’t easy. It’s extremely difficult. I do what I do to the best of my ability so that I may give my wonderful little people the life they deserve. It’s not easy. Sometimes it’s a lot of fun; but it’s ALWAYS a lot of work. Most days I feel extremely blessed and lucky to have these three beautiful little creatures that cuddle and look up to me. However days like today are hard. They make you shed a few tears, ask God why, and then you strum up the courage to say “Okay, I got this”. There’s a quote by Mae West that comes to mind, “I never said it’d be easy, I said it’d be worth it.”
It’s not easy, but it’s totally worth it. Baby J cheering me on at the computer as we search for a new babysitter. Who can resist those eyes!!??